I do not wish you death or pain or sorrow.
I do not wish for you to toil in fear,
but if you, dear friend, don’t leave until tomorrow,
I might be forced to kick you in the rear.
And since all you can do is interrupt,
I’ve started thinking of unpleasant scenes
that cause no harm, but really could disrupt
your peace, your comfort, and tranquility.
I hope you find yourself with sticky fingers
that thorough soapy scrubbing can’t erase.
I hope your silent stinker always lingers
and recognition makes you a disgrace.
May your socks always be bunched up at your heel,
and if you’d lose your voice that’d be ideal.
It’s not that I dislike our friendly gabs.
I understand your need for frequent breaks,
but if you don’t hush I’ll feel the need to stab
my just licked finger into your slice of cake.
It’s possible that this may seem unkind,
to wish unpleasantness upon a friend.
And if you think my words should be refined
feel free to ignore me until the day’s dark end!
Please zip your lips and head to another space
so I can stop these hateful, annoying thoughts.
‘Cause I still want your cheeks to clench as you race
into a crowded bathroom with the trots.
Come back in a hour and I’ll be dandy and fine
I really just want to finish chapter nine.
Sarah Stoltzfus Allen 