woke up exhausted; stared at the ceiling for a full ten minutes before I reached for my phone to check the results; checked the results; stared at the ceiling for another ten minutes; got my children ready for school; thought about how people want to defund the department of education; got my children on the bus; thought about how the president-elect made fun of a disabled reporter and told his own nephew that he should let his special needs child die instead of wasting more money; fixed my usual quad shot latte; let the faces of family flick through my mind, knowing they have voted for someone who makes fun of people like my children and thinks they should die; thought about what to wear for the day; chose a black dress with green and white sneakers – mourning with a touch of whimsy (?), defiance (?), and hope (?) (I’m not sure about hope); thought about Russia and Ukraine and Israel and Palestine; took a long shower and used all the special, smell good products; dried my hair straight and put it in a bun; took my meds and doubled the anti-anxiety pill; filled up my water bottle; got dressed; cried a little bit when I couldn’t find the shoes that I wanted; cried even more when I found them; thought about what will happen if the conservatives get everything they want; thought about the art we might not get because artists are too tired right now; thought about the art we will get – artists digging deep and crying out; remembered that horrible recording where the president-elect bragged about grabbing a woman by the pussy; remembered him saying that he would protect women whether they wanted it or not; got in my car to go to work; found my daisy earrings in the pocket of my purse and put them on to remind me that hope, and daisies, can grow wherever you plant them, beside the road on rocky shoulders and in fields of rich, good soil; drove to work. Welcome to a new day.
Sarah Stoltzfus Allen 